The Decision To Have More

The day Jarrod and I got married we talked about how much we wanted to have met earlier in life and have babies together. We talked about getting my tubal ligation reversed, and getting his vasectomy reversed, and trying to have just one more. We dreamed together about what a baby between us would look like, how we would raise it, we even talked about possible names. Within 24 hours we tabled the idea and moved on.

However, over the last few months it has come up a few more times. We’ve talked about getting reversals, what it might look like to be new parents all over again. We had Malia (Jarrod’s ex-stepdaughter’s baby / grandbaby) quite a lot for a while there, and we sorta came to the conclusion that we didn’t want to take that much time away from each other… but now that we’ve settled into our life together, we have started revisiting the idea.

Last night we finally had another serious conversation about it. And Jarrod turned to me and said “ya know, this is something we’ve talked about off and on since the day we got married. If it’s something we really want to do, we need to get it done.” And so the conversation continued. While he was at work today I reached out to a few reversal clinics, requesting more information. I even sent a release of information form to one, signed, so they can get my medical records and tubal ligation report. It’s possible that within the week, we will have answers from these places.

In the meanwhile, Jarrod just has to pay $1900 and travel to Oklahoma and he’ll be set. So his part is easy. But on my end, I need to have my uterus and ovaries thoroughly examined to make sure I am still able to be a mother again. My mom had cervical cancer when she was close to my age, and the last time I had a pelvic exam, my doctor seemed to think I may have a uterine polyp sticking out of my cervix. So I need to get that examined. Plus, my BMI needs to be under 32, which just means taking off this last 15-20 lbs, and I’ll be set. We have to track down my whole health to make sure spending $10K for these surgeries (combined, with travel) is going to get us the baby we dream of. If my health checks out, we may be able to conceive before the end of 2018.

All day, he’s been at work and we’ve been texting about it. And since he’s been home we’ve been talking about it. We’ve decided to tell no one until I am pregnant and we know the pregnancy is in good shape. We’re both hoping for a girl. Neither one of us really knows how any of the older kids are going to react, but we know for sure our exes are going to have a lot of resentment and jealousy. We know since the older kids and this baby will have such a gap in age, this baby’s upbringing will be that of an only child most of the time. Because even if I conceive this year, and have the baby in 2019, the youngest of our oldest kids will be 12 by the time the baby is born, and the oldest will be 17.

I’m probly far more excited than I should be considering all of my potential obstacles at this point. I had truly decided I was done with my childbearing years. But the idea of having a baby with the man I love, seeing how our genetics play together, and sharing that experience with no exes, no visitation or custody, no child support, no restrictions…. having OUR OWN BABY and our own family… a common element that brings all the girls and all the boys and the 2 of us all together… that would be a true miracle and blessing. And I cannot wait to get started!

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